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The Eastern Advocate

A local man by the name of Richard Sole, aka R. Sole, has lived a life filled with never ending pain and embarrassment. Mr Sole has today launched legal action against his parents for giving him such an unfortunate name. “It’s left a hole in my life,” said Mr Sole, “I’ve given everything in life a good crack but it’s inevitably always going to be a real bummer.”

Mr Sole spoke emotionally about the difficulty he endured everyday during school roll call, when the teacher would call out each child’s first initial followed by their surname. “The kids would crack up laughing every time. How could any parent do this to their child?”

Mr Sole’s two best friends, Ben Dover and Dixie Normous, revealed that they feel a great deal of empathy for his troublesome situation. “I wouldn’t know what it’s like,” said Mr Dover, “It’s a real shame about his name because he’s a great bloke despite what his name might suggest.”

Ms Normous echoed Mr Dover’s sentiments, and added that it was a real shame to see such a great man so upset over something he was born with. “Some people have made fun of my name before, but I’m not really sure why. Nothing as bad as Richard has endured though, it’s just so unfortunate.”

Mr Sole is believed to have found comfort by contacting other unfortunately named people, and he has invited them to come forward, to tell their similarly unfortunate stories. “There has to be someone named Andrew Nuss or Peter Ness out there! Even a Hugh Jarms or Hugh Jelbow. It’s time we stood up for ourselves and had a real crack!”

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