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The Eastern Advocate


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The Eastern Advocate

A local tradesman by the name of Jack Hammer has today sent shockwaves through the region, by opting to consume something different to the usual meat pie, coke and cigarettes for his lunch. Mr Hammer chose instead to order a croissant and an orange juice from the local bakery. He returned to the worksite to fits of laughter from his mates, who poked fun at him all afternoon.

“It’s not even funny,” said Mr Hammer. “I’m trying to be healthy, and this is the reward I get. All my mates are calling me Faguette now. Just ‘cause I ate one lousy croissant!” Eastern Advocate believes this is a play on words, on the popular French bread, the baguette, and you can put the rest together.

Xavier Cavater, the head of operations at the work site, is believed to be the ring leader of the teasing of Mr Hammer. Mr Cavater defended his actions, saying it was just all a bit of light hearted fun. “It’s just all a bit of light hearted fun.” Mr Cavater told us that he always has a pie, coke and a few cigarettes for lunch, no matter what. “Why would I have anything different? It’s the perfect lunch. A great balance of nutritious value, protein and energy to get me through the rest of the day.”

Mr Hammer is due to face the notorious tradie community at the end of the week, and it is expected that he will face serious charges. We wish him the best of luck, because he seemed like a decent bloke that just made an honest mistake.

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