search instagram arrow-down
The Eastern Advocate


Blog Stats

The Eastern Advocate

Local man Tython McTooth, has scandalously stated today that Bathurst does not have enough pubs, and that there should be more.

“Bathurst does not have enough pubs and there should be more,” McTooth scandalously stated. 

This comment was made in public not far from Eastern Advocate HQ and reporters rushed out when they heard a loud gasp, a baby start crying and gunshots in the distance. Upon finding McTooth standing looking at one of the few corners in Bathurst that is not currently occupied by a licensed premises, Eastern Advocate reporters decided this was a bold statement that needed to be investigated.  

“Well I need more options than 12 places to buy alcohol within 2 blocks on George Street alone” McTooth complained. “There’s more than 12 nights in the year you know.”

When Eastern Advocate reporters delved deeper into this statement, it has become evident that Tython expects 365 pubs in Bathurst to give him a different option every single night of the year. “365 pubs would be nice, but you know what would be better? One extra pub to open for a year once every 4 years just to cover those pesky leap years” 

 Local day drinker Willoby Wallaby echoed McTooth’s comments and even went as far as saying the current pubs should open earlier. “I just don’t think it’s fair for me to have to wait until 10am to start drinking for the day. Hangovers are cured by more beer, there’s only so much Nurofen and Panadol can do you know. I’ll tell you that for free”

 Local publican Norris Morris believes the number of pubs is just right and states that he does not want the local licensed venues following the same trend as Subway took when they flooded the market.“I’m not having a bar of it, an ounce of it or even a second of it! We do it tough enough trying to lure people in as it is!” 

 “We’ve already extended our happy hour to all of our opening hours. We just call it ‘If you wanna be happy every hour, then come on in! Pretty clever hey, I actually thought of that myself.” 

More to come 


Leave a Reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: