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The Eastern Advocate


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The Eastern Advocate

The Bathurst Regional Council has revealed plans to construct a chairlift that will run from The Oxford Hotel to McDonald’s, with one stop in between at ISPA Kebab. The chairlift will operate from 12-4AM on the weekend, from Friday to Sunday.

Local partygoer, Joshua Willcolks, who has recently completed a 6 day bender, said that the chairlift was going to be a game changer. “This is the best news I’ve heard since I began my bender! I’m gonna go for another week now that I’ve heard this is happening!”

Mr Willcolks’ close friend, Guy Sebastian, who is also a famous singer-songwriter, thought that the chairlift would save time and lives, which is the number one priority. “My new album is on Spotify so go and have a listen.” It is unclear why Mr Willcolks and Guy Sebastian are friends, or why Guy Sebastian has anything to do with this matter at all.

No doubt there will be an uproar of locals demanding to know why Guy Sebastian was mentioned so much in this article, when it wasn’t even about him in the first place. But please have a listen to his new album on Spotify or iTunes, there’s some real bangers on there.

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