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All high schools in Bathurst set to merge, forming Scots All Saints Saint Stanislaus Mackillop Bathurst Kelso High School College College Grammar School College (SASSSMBKHSCCGSC).

There have been rumours of a major move in the high school situation in Bathurst for 2020. As we all know, All Saints’ College is merging with The Scots School, starting at the beginning of 2019, however it seems as though the other high schools want in on the action. The administrative staff of all remaining high schools in Bathurst have been calling around, scoping out whether a move to merge all the schools by 2020 would be possible.

The name of the new school is yet to be decided upon, however Scots All Saints Saint Stanislaus Mackillop Bathurst Kelso High School College College Grammar School College (SASSSMBKHSCCGSC) seems to be the frontrunner. Current headmaster of Bathurst High, Phil Phillipson, said the name was his favourite out the the suggestions put forward. “It just rolls off the tongue nicely, it’s best not to overcomplicate things when naming a new school so I think it fits the bill perfectly.”

St Stanislaus College faculty members have approved of the decision to merge, and there is an air of excitement in the staffroom today as the news passed through the school. The employees at Mackillop College also support the move, and Mary Mackillop herself has risen from the grave to give the all clear for the merger to go ahead. “I, Saint Mary Mackillop, officially declare SASSSMBKHSCCGSC a suitable name for the forthcoming merger of all Bathurst high schools. Cya later sk8ters.”

There are of course, a number of issues with the move, as there is no clues as to which campus that the school would be based at. Bathurst and Kelso High have ruled themselves out as campus candidates, as they boast self described “shit holes.” The contest seems to be between the private schools, and a decision is yet to be reached.

Groundsman for All Saints’ College, Brad Donaldson, said he was pleased with the news of the merger, stating that he had never been happier. “I’m ecstatic! Mainly because I just ate a Bubble-o- Bill that had two gum balls on it. But the merger is good too I guess. Not really sure what it means.”

We will keep readers updated with any developments that occur in the SASSSMBKHSCCGSC situation.

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