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The Eastern Advocate


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The Eastern Advocate

Well well well. It seems that David Warner has had enough of this world. The poor little fella can’t take what he dishes out over and over again. This breaking news comes after Warner exited the field after being sledged by an opposition team member during a recent Sydney Grade Cricket match. He returned a short time later to smack the bowlers all over the place on his way to 150.

However it seems he has taken it a step further this time, with the diminutive opening batsman declaring he isn’t coming back. “Yeah this is it for me, I’m calling it quits,” said Warner in a tell all interview with Eastern Advocate. It is believed the traffic incident may have been slightly exaggerated by Warner, as we were able to track down the driver of the vehicle that apparently nearly ran him down. Warner reported that the driver sped through the crossing without even checking to see if he was there.

The driver of the vehicle, Josh Parkinson, begs to differ. “I saw him, and came to a complete stop to let him cross. It was then that I realised who it was, so I stuck my head out the window and yelled out something about how he resembled a garden gnome.”

Warner took great offence to this comment, and told Parkinson that he would go to great measures in order to get him locked up. However when the courts dismissed his story as “complete garbage,” Warner decided his time was up, and booked a flight to the Bermuda Triangle.

It has been reported that Warner's wife Candice, has reached out to former ‘friend’ Sonny Bill Williams for support; however these reports cannot be confirmed at such an early juncture.

More to come.

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