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The Eastern Advocate

Local news company Western Advocate, has scandalously revealed that it has begun charging it’s readers for a weekly, monthly or annual subscription to their newspaper, prompting suggestions that the Eastern Advocate has surfaced as Bathurst’s premier source of journalism.

It’s shocking news to all Bathurst locals, especially long-term resident Graham Campbell. “It sh*ts me to tears, sorry for the language matey but I think it’s warranted at a time like this.” Mr Campbell’s neighbour, Adelaide van Hoyt, echoed his thoughts, “Western Advocate was always my second choice local newspaper, but I didn’t mind reading their articles as long as they were free of charge.”

The sudden subscription fee has pushed numerous Western Advocate readers over the edge, and it has been the catalyst for a large number of readers to switch to popular, upcoming local newspaper, Eastern Advocate. Local newsagent, Adam Hosking, said that the Western Advocate was quickly becoming very unpopular among locals. “I’ve still got a copy from New Years Day 2017, it still hasn’t sold out from nearly two years ago. I wouldn’t wipe my you know what with it.”

It is believed that the writers of Eastern Advocate are quite shocked that Western Advocate would begin to charge for their below par news stories. An EA spokesperson stated that, “We would never charge our loyal readers for our stories, it’s absolutely ludicrous from WA, they’ll be lucky to have any readers by the end of the month.”

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